One of the main concerns that I have heard lately from parents regarding kids & chores is that “their child is too young.”
I disagree with the idea that a child is too young to complete ANY type chore. & I have back up… :)
According to a researcher named Marty Rossman, “The best predictor of young adults’ success in their mid-20’s was that they participated in household tasks when they were three or four.” (source)
Now, 3 or 4 years old is still quite young. They are usually dealing with strong emotions & their behavior can become a little erratic (ever heard the term “three-nager”). Part of the reason for this is that they are beginning to demonstrate more independence, & along with that, they want more control.
This transition makes for challenging behaviors, but it is also a wonderful time to introduce chores & here’s why: It actually gives them something to feel proud of, & to have a sense of control over.
According to Erik Erikson, & his stages of Psychosocial Development (source), a child is usually entering the stage of “Initiative vs. Guilt.” If a child has success in this stage, they will develop a sense of purpose.
Additionally, at age 3, children tend to want to copy adults & REALLY like routine (source).
It’s clear, then, how creating chores during this time can help. Now, I think the first thing that is really important to discuss is what kinds of chores are appropriate. We will discuss some of the other details of introducing & managing chores in future posts. But it’s important to talk about the WHAT before we get into the HOW.
So let’s look at a quick list from WebMd about age-appropriate chores (source):
Now, the first thing I want to say about this chart is that it is a general guideline. It’s still important for you to use some common sense when considering the appropriateness in your house. For example, if you have a child with developmental delays, some of these items may not be appropriate. If you have a child that is immunosuppressed, like we do currently, some chores may not be appropriate.
Similarly, if you have a child that is extremely bright, or seems to really thrive by having responsibility, you may want to give them some additional or “harder” chores, as appropriate.
Lastly, I am by no means suggesting that a 4 year old should be wholly responsible for all the things on that list. Rather, this chart is a way to prompt ideas & demonstrate the type of task which is appropriate. There are days that I think, “it would be great if they would just do all of those things so that by the time they're 10 they can handle all the housework.” But you & I both know those are the delusions of an exhausted, overworked mom & not appropriate, realistic expectations.
All that I said, I’m curious to hear your thoughts! What chores are your children responsible for & how old are they? Do you agree with the chart above or are there things you would add or change? I love hearing from others & learning what works in your household. Stay tuned for more chore content next week, discussing specifically how to start or introduce chores to your child or household.
As always, love to you all! Until the next adventure
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